Most people attribute their misery to someone else, or circumstances, but they completely fail to realize they are the only one person responsible for it. Unfortunately it prevents them to take over and reverse the trend.
To be clear I am not talking about people born in misery or disabled here. Actually, I never met someone in a non-developed country who ever complained about his life the way those in developed countries do. It’s seems like a curse reserved to those who already have everything they need (see how I say “need” here).
You want to know what is the root cause or your problems? Apply Toyota’s 5 Whys technique. Most of the time you will end up with a decision you made or, most likely, a decision you did not make (thus, you let someone else make it for you).
Now, the idea behind this is not to start blaming yourself instead of others, it’s for you to realize that you are responsible for your own life and actions and that by changing your attitude you can either change your life and make it better or realize you are where you want to be and be happy about it.
Some will ask where I stand there and in the interest of full disclosure I will answer: I am a lazy slob! I don’t make my life half as productive as it could be (like building a lean startup, learning Salsa or playing the guitar). I know that and I realize it’s my fault because I don’t take the necessary actions to make it happen. But the thing is, I am not really interested into any of this. It looks cool from the outside and I would certainly gain some fame if I was a salsa dancing, guitar playing, CEO. But my life is cool the way it is, I am lucky, and I like it like that :)
Taking responsibility for our state (both good and bad) can be challenging. Sometimes when things are (or feel) wrong it is easy to want someone else to fix it. While help is sometimes useful, ultimately we have to be our own change. The 5 why’s is a great technique to add to the arsenal of tools for awareness. And learning to accept where you are isn’t a bad thing either. I guess that is back to the real needs vs. perceived needs.
Yeah right! Be aware of your thoughts and let me know how much freedom you have. Life sucks when life is manipulated by others! It feels that you are brainwashed 24/7.
Hi Vanessa, not sure what you mean there, but welcome to comment nevertheless :)